You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
