Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
