were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Say something about gay babies.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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