I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
