he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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