I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
