I feel like I'm in dance class right now
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
