I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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