I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
