he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
