On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
