he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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