it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
