If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
