Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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