Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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