Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
