Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
