Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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