So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
