there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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