I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
