And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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