I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize