my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
