Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I came so hard my ears popped.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
