Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
