Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
