I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
