Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Sorry about my life...
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
