I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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