i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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