the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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