I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I need a beard to bite.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
