lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
i believe in u and ur pee
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
