I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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