Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
