I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
