We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
