he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
