a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
