They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
