in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
