we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
