I love black thongs
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
