Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
