theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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