i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
