I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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