that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
